How to find the real you
There are many ways to change how you think and feel.
Your beliefs and behavior patterns are all interrelated. Change one thing and you could change many.
Start of by changing your focus.
If you grumble about something you do not like to do, then that is the meaning it will have to you. Find three benefits for that something you do not like. Then think about these three benefits each time you do repeat the task. You will soon enough change your feeling toward the activity.
Pay attention to how you feel about what other people say.
Feelings are a physical reaction to whatever is going on around you. Be aware of what your body does in relation to others. Fear and joy are the ultimate reaction to anything. And these result in chemical changes in your body causing tension or laughter or discomfort in the pit of your stomach or pleasure and relaxation. Learn to pay special attention to these and you will know why we say pay attention to your feelings.
Pay attention to what you think.
Not just the words but the emotional content of the words. Not just the words but the images that you associate with what is happening. How big and where you see the images in your mind is as important as the message.
Pay attention to how people say things and what their body language is.
Some communications experts say that 80% of a message is delivered through body language. Learn to observe what is going on before your eyes.
Select one thing that you do everyday and do it differently.
If you only partly listen to what others say, stop and really listen. If you are busy planning what you want to say, you will be missing out on learning something real about the other person.
At the end of the day, find a quiet spot somewhere to evaluate how things went during the day.
Self discovery requires some quiet time to understand how you do things.
Take responsibility for all your actions.
Think about this. Do you blame others for making you angry? On your drive to work, do you curse drivers for their incompetence? Do you realize that it is your choice as to what any response will be in any situation? Plan three responses for anything you do. A joke often diffuses any emotionally charged response you might give.